The Saving Grace

By this point you could imagine that my patience and interest in the state was wearing thin... perhaps I should have just reported on the football I was sent for. But then it happened. A man who understood my quest... who gave me satisfaction!

His name was Will. And of course I recognized him by his name. Will! The sidekick from the musical! He found me sitting on the corner outside of a Starbucks in Oklahoma City (And might I say that these days the farmer and the cowman should not be friends... because they don't exist... I would settle for the barista and me to be friends... at least to get my drink right). As he approached I noticed a swagger in his step. He was slurring his words... just as a cowman would.

"How you doing, man?" He asked.

"I'm fine."

"Yeah... you got a coffee huh?"

"Yes."

"You get one of those pansy lattes-a-chinos?"

Now, normally I would. However, as terrific as Starbucks is, I did not trust the steamed milk from a state that couldn't even harmonize in a day to day situation, let alone break into spontaneous song. So I answered honestly.

"No. Black coffee."

Will smiled.

"I like your style! More bang for your buck you know?! For me, it's all or nothing."

He swaggered away. And at that time I realized my mistake. Oklahoma had grown... it had industrialized... and with this industry there just isn't time to create detailed story archs and break into a dream ballet sequence.

But the heart was still there. For me it's all or nothing... a motto for Oklahoma to stand for.

I left a mildly disappointed, but contented man... for me, it truly was all or nothing.

This is John Stevens, signing off.

Analyzing the Main Theme.

I soon discovered that the state did not offer the comforts the main title song promised:

OKLAHOMA where the wind comes sweeping down the plain...

The wind certainly did whip against my face... to a point of discomfort. I'd also argue that it did not sweep down the plain, but rather whip against a face that has been battered by a life of reporting.

And the wavin' wheat can sure smell sweet
When the wind comes right behind the rain.

Unfortunately the only smell I smelt was that of urine in Oklahoma City, and when the wind came after the rain that smell only intensified.

Oklahoma, Ev'ry night my honey lamb and I
Sit alone and talk and watch a hawk
Makin' lazy circles in the sky.

For days I searched for a hawk. I searched and searched and searched. Alas, the only thing I could find making lazy circles was the drunk man I found on a street corner... and he was far from the sky, reader... very far indeed.

We know we belong to the land
And the land we belong to is grand!

It seemed very average to me.

And when we say
Yeeow! Ayipioeeay!

I never heard these sentences.

We're only sayin'
You're doin' fine, Oklahoma!
Oklahoma O.K.

O.K. Oklahoma... you might be doing fine... but the musical promised such better things than fine! I figured I was missing something... I had to missing something! Why was the musical so much more engaging theatrically then the city!

I pulled my jacket tighter and went looking.

Oklahoma's Story Arch: A Comparison

Of course the best part of the musical Oklahoma is the story arch. There are few that will disagree with me here. The score by Richard Rogers and Oscar Hammerstein III are nothing to scoff at obviously, but there are few things better than the story of a young lover, the gal he longs for, the evil ranch hand, the comic relief and a good sense of opposing sides.

With that said, the story arch of Oklahoma State is nothing short of boring for me to witness. Let me tell you that upon arriving at the airport I noticed that there were several people milling around the baggage claim, and not a single evil farmhand among them. The story of my journey to the state essentially consisted of me getting off the plane, deciding not to write about football because it bored me, and then drinking while asking people where the nearest evil farmhand was.

It was boring, and ultimately unsuccessful, and absolutely not cathartic and what arch was there to love? What characters could I fall for? Certainly not the man who was wearing a Oklahoma Thunder Sweatshirt:

What character arc does this man have? Nothing. I decided to continue to search for evidence that this state is even WORTHY to share the name with the musical.

What began my quest

As a reporter I am often sent to various locations for meaningless tasks and assignments. This one is no different. Oklahoma apparently has one or numerous colleges that NEEDED covering for their football teams... and for some reason I was hired as the unfortunate schlub to travel from my terrific studio in Chelsea, New York, the height of fashion and culture, to Oklahoma State.

But wait. Just as always, I thought, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Suddenly my brain was flooded with memories of a movie I saw as a young boy... of an evil ranch hand, a terrific ballet and the tearing down of discriminatory laws between farmers and cowmen. Yes. I remember that the movie Oklahoma was about not a man named Oklahoma, but the STATE OKLAHOMA!

You could imagine my excitement.

So I took off to O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A OKLAHOMAAAAAAAAAA with a martini in my hand, and an inevitable love story full of music to be had.

Oh how I was wrong.

I ended up not writing about the football teams. I found it far more interesting that the musical is far more interesting than the state both in entertainment value and character development. So I wrote about that. That is what an investigative journalist does.